so tonight ill share how i first started using crack...
i was hanging out with some friends one day and were were all drinking. well this guy and girl started fighting over a bottle of vodka and it started to get physical. so.... me and this other girl we will call her Amy... so we left before the police came and went to her sisters house which was actually pretty close to my friends house. well long story short her sister came up to me with the pipe... and told me to try it and smoke it so stupid me i did. i didn't feel it but that's where it started. stupid curiosity. i should have known better and i should have walked out but i was 18 then and i didn't care. i had lost the one person i loved the most and wanted to see how low i could go... and it just went from there.
well that's it for tonight. ill post tomorrow and it Will explain who that person was... xoxo Sammi.

Today ill be posting a quote that really hits home because they are all the things ive done....
 hope you like it....

A shot to kill the pain. A pill to drain the shame. A purge to end the gain. A cut to break the vein. A smoke to ease the crave. A drink to win the game. An addiction is an addiction because it all hurts the same.

 i am not sure who wrote it but its a quote i know all to well. its everything ive done to hurt myself or to help me forget the pain i feel deep inside me. i just have to remind myself that it does get better.... but sometimes its hard to believe... 

hello fellow bloggers...
im sammi...
 im starting this blog to help myself cope with all the stress and the struggles in my life.
this blog may be a trigger for some people who deal with cutting or addictions such as drugs. im clean now and im working on getting help for the self harm but this will be an everyday post for me. Ill even add in my past history stories along with the posts. its not easy i know but i hope this helps me and who know.... it might help others cope too.